Portable Office

Being a compulsive sort of person, when I packed for my “vacation,” the most critical items were computer related—laptop, multiple cords, flash drive, iPod, a USB hub. When I unpacked all of my electronics, my daughter asked, “Where is your ergonomic keyboard?” Nine hundred miles from home is not the time to discover that little oversight. Oh well, the MacBook keyboard if wider than most and really not difficult to use. “It’s all fine,” I said, trying to sound hip. I got by with it.

“Where should I set up my office,” I asked, thinking surely someone would say, “Oh use my desk. I’m not home all day.” No one did. “The kitchen is fine. How about the table?” So, Plan A was the kitchen table. Wrong height. Chair uncomfortable. Hmmm. “How about pillows?” my son in law suggested and plopped a couple behind me. Better. “Or this massaging seat cover?” my daughter offered, setting it up and plugging it in. Nice, but hard to concentrate with that thing hitting me up and down my back.

Plan B was the kitchen counter. It looked like a good height, and the chair was in the right place. So, I spread out all over the kitchen island. Someone who shall remain nameless commented on the mess. In truth, it was pretty bad. Next, I tried my daughter’s office. She had a cute little table that looked perfect. Two hours later, I was all hunched over and had crick in my neck. So much for Plan C.

Plan D was my son in law’s couch, which was good for one afternoon. I used a cutting board for a desk. It worked fine, but by now, my back was in knots. Plan E was my bed with four pillows supporting me. Didn’t work. Way too soft. On the “great room” couch (a Florida term, I think), with my cutting board on my lap and my feet on the bottom of the coffee table, things were looking up. The problem was I stayed in the same position for hours and could barely walk when I got up.

Next and I hope the last stop: back to the kitchen island. But this time, I have the laptop on a phone book, and I am standing. This could really be the solution … except that standing for long periods of time is problematic with a bad back. Maybe, if I put on walking shoes, or stand on a cushion, or take breaks every once in a while, it could work.

My daughter observes my new arrangement. “I don’t understand why you don’t just use my desk,” she says. “It would be SO much more comfortable than that set up.”

Right.

Technology Overload

We have a saying in our family: The one who dies with the most toys wins. Until recently, I didn’t even think I was a competitor; now, I’m sure I’m going to win.

It started with the new external hard drive, which I had to have because it spoke two languages: Mac and PC. Then, there was the ergonomic keyboard for the PC, since my fingers seem incapable of negotiating a standard laptop keyboard. And, of course, I had to have a universal wireless mouse of my own, despite the fact that there were mice in every drawer of every desk in two states.

The entire time I was in Florida, every time I made or received a phone call on my cell phone, I had to go outside to talk because my phone didn’t seem to like the house, especially the kitchen. My earpiece wouldn’t work at all, so I wore out my left ear smashing the phone up against it. Leslie finally took pity on me and gave me her old cell phone, but then she had to take me to the Sprint store to switch my phone number and contact list. I was happy as a clam, but what did I know? Apparently, a truly modern cell phone user is half naked without a Bluetooth permanently attached to his or her ear. Need I say more?

By now, three quarters of the world knows the saga of my new laptop. Really, it seemed perfect until I realized how incomplete I felt not being able to send e-mail or access the Internet while sitting in bed, which is about five feet away from my desk. “Why do you need wireless when you live in a closet?” Terry asked. My condo may be small, but it is not a closet. Besides, no one really needs wireless. It’s like diamonds. People have been known to live all their lives without diamonds. But the question is, are they really happy?

Such reasoning immediately sent me to Best Buy to inquire about a wireless modem. The inquiry led to the purchase, which led to the attempted installation, which led to the frustration, which led a totally unintelligible conversation with someone in India. I don’t know what he said, but it doesn’t matter because I am connected and can access the Internet from every room. What more could I possibly want, except maybe to figure out why I still can’t send and e-mail from any room?

The Mac-PC Wars

Going on a trip, when you’re a Mac person who doesn’t own a laptop, is anything but easy. In fact, it is a saga.

I could have bought a Mac laptop, which I desperately craved, but it would have cost roughly $2,000 ($800 more than my desktop) if I wanted any memory at all or even one bell or whistle.

I could have rented a Mac laptop, which seemed like a great idea (it wasn’t mine). My daughter, Leslie, was only too happy to find a Mac rental website for me, the easy part of an otherwise arduous process. After I finally researched and entered all the essential information, I learned that it would cost me $225 a week, times two-and-a-half weeks for this option.

I could have brought my external hard drive and plugged it into Leslie’s laptop. That was supposed to work, but it turned out this particular model of LaCie hard drive wasn’t compatible with a PC. Then, in a fit of rebellion, it even refused to recognize my Mac. So, off I went to my computer guru in a panic. Mike performed his usual magic, making the hard drive compatible with anything I might connect it to; but, somewhere between his office and mine, the LaCie committed suicide.

I could have run out and bought a new one or figured out if it were really dead or just pretending. Back to my guru, who diagnosed the problem and informed me it wasn’t dead (just sick) and all I needed was a new case (long explanation). He bought the case, reinstalled and reconfigured the drive, and made sure it worked. I transferred all my files to the shiny new box. Problem solved.

Then, of course, there was the matter of the teeny-weeny keyboard on a laptop, which I can’t negotiate because of arthritis. To buy or borrow an ergonomic keyboard that works with a PC? That was the question. (My ergonomic keyboard is only Mac compatible. What a surprise.) Leslie offered to buy one, but my friend Bobette insisted that I borrow hers. Another question resolved, though it did take up a lot of room in the suitcase.

A very small issue popped up regarding a PC-compatible mouse. It didn’t occur to me to ask if anyone had an extra one; I just went out and bought a little wireless number. Then, it turned out everyone had one.

When I arrived at Leslie’s, it took five seconds to determine that her laptop didn’t have enough USB ports to handle the keyboard, external hard drive, and wireless mouse. And I had forgotten to pack my little USB extensions, never thinking I would need them. My son in law, Allen, came to the rescue and offered his computer, which is relatively new and replete with USB ports. The only problem was a lack of electrical outlets and surge protector. A little desk moving solved the first part; I went out and bought a surge protector to handle the second.

At last, I was set to go. I felt relieved; everyone else seemed a little frazzled by what it took to make all this happen. Leslie and Allen when off on their long-awaited anniversary trip, and I prepared to work. I had already figured out how to access e-mail, voice mail, and the Web. I had all my passwords with me (farsighted person that I am) but, unfortunately could not open my e-mail address book. A frantic call to Terry (my other daughter) sent her scurrying to my office to send me the addresses. It took a while. Terry is a PC gal and had some difficulty finding her way around my Mac.

When I think about all this ridiculous effort and confusion, I can only conclude that serving the customer has never been a priority for either Microsoft or Apple. If it had been, they wouldn’t have made communication so frustrating and difficult!